it's funny how things work out

so many things have happened since i last wrote. i love how each day is a new lesson being taught to you, but if you don't catch it you won't learn it. and that's how i am-i don't catch things that fast.

now i'll be the first one to tell you that i have the biggest trust issues, but once i get to know someone i slowly give them some of my trust. well i've just recently not only lost all trust for a "friend" but lost her completely. and let me tell you something, i sure don't miss that friendship. this summer has been so weird & busy that i don't have time to talk to my close friends, friends, or acquaintances. the only people i talk to are my 2 best friends & that's because they call me. i'm either cleaning all day or sleeping, so i can't do much.

well a so-called "close friend" decides that because she's about to get surgery (she's had this procedure before, btw) and she will be going to a new school soon that her life is way too boring, and being the drama queen she is she decides to start some drama. it's rediculous how myspace is just a breading ground for drama. so it's day of her surgery, i'm not even home that day (went to work with my mom), and she decides to post a bulletin saying how dissapointed she is in the people who she thought were "close" to her but that didn't wish her good luck with her surgery. then being as mature as she is, she lists the people who actually did [it was like 7 people only]. now i see this bulletin the day she comes home from teh hospital and decide to be polite and say sorry but that i've been busy. i gave her 2 very simple & short sentences, and she replies with 2 freaking long paragraphs, i was amazed! she's going on and on about how it's not even the fact that i didn't wish her good luck, that it was "the fact that i couldn't take 2 seconds out of my 'busy' life to text her a 'hey'". yes, i did just quote her. but you see, it had been like a week, 2 max, since i had last talked to her. whether it be on myspace, texting, or calling. now i'm not mad, i'm not aggravated, i'm just kinda like what the heck? she was being hypocritical because while she's bitching & moaning about how i can't take the time to text her hi because i've been too busy cleaning, she can't take the time to text me because she's too busy either siting on her ass or hanging with her basketball buddies. and that's what i told her, the simple truth. well she doesn't even reply & just deletes me. let me tell you this little fact, she's the type of person that will delete you just so she can trash talk you to everyone else. mature, right? knowing her, i borroed my friend's account and went to look for a bulletin that she had most likely already posted, turns out i was right. you see i've been made fun of my whole life (well up until 3 years ago) & have been called some pretty nasty things, but never in my whole 15.5 years of life has anyone ever been so rude to me. to call me a retarded asshole, a fucking liar, and a whore is so trashy & low that instead of hurting me, it just pissed me the fuck off! i was read to yank that nasty, ugly hair of hers right out of her head with my bare hands! NOTE: I GET MAD EASILY, BUT NOT THIS MAD. so war starts. i decide to come clean first. you see when we first started off we were the best of friends, but as the school year went on and she kept screwing my friends over i kept losing trust. byt the end of the school year i was a two-faced bitch to her. this girl will do whatever it takes to get attention from guys, even if she doesn't like them. & i was making all her main targets stop talking to her. i told her the reason 1 of her exs dumped her, instead of the other way around, was because of me. why her most recent ex (who is a dumbass and is manipulated super easily) finally got over her and shut her out of his life was because of me. also why our older friend had stoped flirting with her (we're 15 & he's 21, but she told him she was 18) was because of me. not once had she ever done anything to me directly, but she did something worse-she fucked with my friends. and then things got out of hand. until we finally just decided that since she wasn't going to be at my school & i wasn't going to have to put up with her to just leave each other alone. all i can say is-so far, so good.

and then comes my mother. i love her; i love her to death, but durring the summer i want to kill her! (not literally). like she never gets a vacation, and i totally understand that she's tired, but she doesn't understand that while i'm at school i'm getting so exhausted and i need my vacation. i need to just sit around for once & not stress about school. i need to catch up on 9 months of sleep deprivation. i need to relax! to her me being on vacation means she just got herself a free maid. i have a fucking scheduel posted on the fridge of what i have to do daily. and it's like because they know i'm going to be cleaning, they don't even clean up after themselves. they leave everything everywhere for ME to clean up. & when i ask to go somewhere or do something they alwasy have to "think" about it. like they have to see if i deserve to go have some fun. & she comes home and there's no "hi honey" all i get is "there are dishes in the sink, why aren't they washed?" or "why hasn't the living room been vaccumed?" like are you kidding me??? give me a break! i'm a kid, i procrastinate, i take my time. i'm seriously counting the days until i go back to school.

well i'm listening to saosin, and they always make me feel better and i'm tired. good night everyone.