2 in 1

PART I: Jackie
i would looooove to do all your pics for you!
i'm real cheap too, promise :D
here, take my business card



PART II: tfln
this has got to be the best site ever!
it's no mlia, but man is it good!
supper innapropriate, but too hilarious!
sorry if they offend you, but i gotta post them :D


(954): so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
(405): Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
(203): He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
(631): It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
(310): Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.

(309): i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!

(317): my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

(562): she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
(dallas ones)
(214): call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight

(214): we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.

(214): In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

(903): u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?(214): Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

(disturbing!)
(214): I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited(1-214): I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope

(214): yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning