2008 is almost completely behind us

so much has happened this year, both good & bad. but i'm thankful that God has allowed me to live one more safe year with my family & friends. happy new years & god bless everyone.

change

change. it happens to everyone. we all change in one way or another. sometimes we change a lot. sometimes a little. and sometimes just enough. some of us hate change, while others love something new. change can bring us happiness. but sometimes it brings on sadness or dissapointment. some of us change drastically very fast. but some slowly change.

i've changed...a lot. but what do you do when someone you care about is changing slowly right in front of you? you can't stop that person because she's happy, but she's hurting you. she knows you too well & knows you're upset, but trusts you too much and believes you when you give her an excuse. what happens when you hate change, but you can't do a thing about it? what happens when you know things are going to change & you can't do anything about it? do you tell the person you don't like what they're becoming, or do you just adapt to the new them? but what if this new person & her new life don't want or need you in it, then what? do you move on or try to make it go back to how things used to be? why does change make people drift apart? why is change necessary?

unfortunately, i cna't answer any of these questions. i can only wonder & hope for the best.

but for 2009 i hope to change. i hope to become a less jealous person. i hope to learn how to control my anger & emotions. but most of all, i hope to become a better person.

Christmas review

ok so in my family we celebrate it on the eve. that's when we have our party & open presents (but it's normally almost midnight byt hte time we do). so my mom got home & i helped her cook & clean a little. then i went to go get ready for church. service was beautiful! came back home & chilled until the people got here. had dinner & went to go do Evil & Secret santa. tons of fun. then i gave out all the presents that i had bought. & then went to open the ones i didn't know what they were. here's all i got:

a beautiful watch
juicy earrings
5 new sims
6 books
2 cds
a sweater
a jacket
a beautiful coat
a hoddie
makeup from victoria's secret
a huge penguin <3
& ROCKBAND!!!

i was pretty happy this year hahaha merry christmas you guys

blogger dad & new friend

ok so it's saturday night (technically sunday morning) & i decide to pop my head into the study real quick to see what my dad was up to, turn out he's making a blogger! what doesn't that man have? he has an orkut (facebook for brazilians), facebook, & now a blogger...dang! hahaha but i love my daddy and now i get to read what he has to say :] but in a way i hope he doesn't read mine lol =P

but enough about my computer genius dad & onto the topic of friendship (ha i'm listening to a song called Never Take Friendship Personal). i think one thing that i haven't mentioned yet is that i'm brazilian. i'm talking 100% here. yes i have other things in me but my parents & grandparents are brazilian. well i know a lot of brazilians here in dallas but very few in my age range. i have my good friend, ana, who i've known since she got to the US. but now there's this boy who's here doing a foreign exchange program named, eduardo.

ana introduced me to him at the very begining of the year but i never really talked to him (i only see him during lunch). well i switched lunch tables & went to go sit with ana & him. it a few weeks but now we're actually talking! (he's crazy shy) he's a sweet boy that lives in a city very close to my hometown. well today i'm sitting at lunch, & i spot him. i'd never seen him in my A day lunch so it made me curious. he was about 4 tables in front of me but no one was in between us. i saw he was sitting alone, so i pretty much stared at him until he saw me (he probably thought i was a creep!). i waved & gestured for him to come sit with me. i wasn't about to let the poor guy sit alone! at lunch it's just alley & me, but one more person won't hurt :D & i'm glad i did. he wasn't alone at lunch, & we talked more. ana & i are even planning on having him over to hang out, maybe when he's around just 2 brazilians he'll be more talkative hahaha

Misearbile Visu (Ex Malo Bonum)

Misearbile Visu (Ex Malo Bonum)
Anberlin

A red priest broke into our classroom
Caught us children by attention
"Listen closely to the words I speak
Lord knows if we'll ever, ever again meet"

Spoke such words never spoken before
On the way he declared there were
Miracles like you've never seen
From a man who was raised up in the sea

A man is coming in thirteen-one
To charm the daughters and the sons
Scared for our lives, I turned to your hand
Hold this tight while we run, if we still can

What disasters may come
Whatever it may be
At the end of the age
It will land you and me
What tragedy may bring
Whatever may fall
The end of the world
You'll still belong

Before the red priest took his last breath
He told me, "Child, now don't forget
The sun will turn dark very soon
Your days are numbered when there's blood on the moon

"The earth will shake and the sky will fall
The eyes will open of those involved
Don't take this son, but you'll be killed
By the man from seven hills"

What disasters may come
Whatever it may be
At the end of the age
It will land you and me
What tragedy may bring
Whatever may fall
At the end of the world
You'll still belong

Look children to the eastern sky
When you hear the voice say your last goodbyes
Look there to the eastern skies
When the ghosts take hold of the men who died
Look children to the eastern sky
When your fathers weep and your mothers cry
Look children to the eastern sky

What disasters may come
Whatever it may be
At the end of the age
It will land you and me
What tragedy may bring
Whatever may fall
At the end of the world
You'll still belong

Look children to the eastern sky
When you hear the voice say your last goodbyes
Look there to the eastern skies
When the ghosts take hold of the men who died
Look children to the eastern sky
When your fathers weep and your mothers cry
Look children to the eastern sky
Look children to the eastern sky

winter wonderland...in texas?

this year, winter is making it's presence. so it's only dec 15 & ice has already collected & frozen on the ground! could tomorrow be a cancelled or delayed school day...already?! we normally have to wait until february or in this year's case, march. but i love it! :D

not good enough

i'm not a good enought student.
i'm not a good enough daughter.
i'm not a good enough friend.
i'm not a good enough christian.
i'm not a good enough helper.
i'm not a good enough listener.
i'm not a good enough person.

i'm tired of not being good enough. if i'm such a waste of human space, why did god put me on this earth? i really want to leave. give my parents a chance to have another child...one that can make them proud. because they've made it very clear that i'll never be able to do that. i just really wish i didn't have to be alive...

Danny's Daily Mugshot

Daily Mugshot

Sad Excuse

so i'm in my prep for parenting class finishing up a parenting project while listening to my other love, National Product <3 ok so let me explain how i came to be a NP fan. i love the band lovehatehero & always go see them when they're in town. they were having a show that only had like 20 people there, at the most. they were touring with a bunch of bands i had never heard of before in my life but i'm always open to new music, that is how i discover most of the bands i like. one of the bands that really caught my attention was the band that played right before LHH, National Product. they were really good, goofy, & their singer just so happen to very cute! hahaha after that show i looked them up, downloaded their album, & there it started. it was a while before i was able to see them again, but when i did it was worth the wait. although Danny (singer) was very sick, he still put on an amazing show. he's a very sweet person who loves hugs & kisses (i'll come add pictures of me with him when i get home)! so at that show he gave me his number for us to keep in contact. now we're good buddies & we wear matching bracelets (mine says Danny, his says Isabela). so here's the song that he tipically makes it seems like he's singing just for me (don't ask how that works, you have to be there to see it)

Sad Excuse

National Product

Let's get it right, before the hand hits 12 tonight

Cause I can see in your eyes, you trip on every word, it's a lie, it's a lie

And tonight, while there's still time left, and you said everything you wanted to

There’s one thing you haven't heard, its my lie, its my lie

Lay on your back and raise your right hand

This could be the last chance that you get to

Swear on this knife that you, never loved me, never, never loved me

Because if that’s the truth, push it through me, push it, push it through me

But you don't, and you won't, cause you're a sad excuse, yeah you're a sad excuse

You search directories and somehow you've found out

Who's sleeping next to me, in my bed, in my bed

So tonight, while there's still time left and you did everything you wanted to

There's one thing you haven't heard, it's my lie, it's my lie

Lay on your back and raise your right hand

The hardest part is knowing, you didn't have the tact to sit back and react to the truth

The hardest part is knowing, you didn't have the tact to sit back and

Swear on this knife that you never loved me, never, never loved me

Because if that's the truth, push it through me, push it, push it through me

Swear on this knife that you...

Lay on your back and raise your right hand

Swear on this knife that you...

PENGUIN ATTACK!

i love penguins, i'm obsessed. end of story.

<333

M.A.P. testing...ew!

omg i hate these stupid map tests. we have to take 6 of them every year. why did we start doing them all of a sudden. i thought i'd be doen with them once i left plano, guess not. pooooooooop. i just finished my math one, yuck. then i have to go to spanish & practice waltzing witha fucking freshman! god help me. i swear i'm so not going to be here on the day of the imitation quince. i mean i know what they're all about, & i chose to skip my debutant (brasilian version of a quince). damn it. oh well. the bell is going to ring in 5 minutes so i have to get my stuff together. depending on what we do in music theory today, i might post a blog for Esther lol :]

<3

excuses, excuses

there is seriously nothing i hate more than people who have an excuse for EVERYTHING! omg it makes me want to scream! hahaha it's like just admit you've screwed up & get over it. not that hard, trust me. ughhhh it annoys the bageebers out of me! oh well, he's dumb anyways L]

p.s. my room smells very much like taco bell hahaha

not cool.

A_____ M______ T__.
(It's someone's full name)

it's not cool that you don't talk to me anymore.
it's not cool that it seems like we're not friends anymore.
it's not cool that you act as if our friendship is meaningless.
it's not cool that you traded me out.
it's not cool that you don't call anymore.
it's not cool that you don't reply to anything i send you.
it's not cool that you don't text me goodnight anymore.
it's not cool that i'm losing you.
it's not cool that i haven't seen you since june.
it's not cool that you got my hopes but never showed.
it's not cool that you don't miss me.
it's not cool that you make me feel this way.
it's not cool that you're not cool.

swedish movies...say what?!

hahaha so my music theory teacher introduced our class to this awesome independent swedish vampire film. & i believe i'll be seeing it this friday with my pal, Esther :] the only problem is...subtitles! gosh i hate them. i'm slow & they're too fast so i end up missing half of the dialogue lol. i have 3 days to learn swedish then =P it should be fun :D

patience

i really need to work on being more patient. especially while unlce TOM is visiting ;]

It's So Simple

yes! i finally capitalized a title! hahaha but i don't think i've ever explained where my blog title actually came from. as you can tell from my blog "dedication. devotion. love. life." saosin is my passion. It's So Simple is one of their songs that i love the most. so i thought that today i'd post the lyrics to this song. enjoy :]

It's So Simple
Saosin
I never thought you would lose yourself
The hardest part was falling down again
(Have you had enough yet?)
I'm a fool to watch you walk away
Are you bothered by the choice you made?

When we fall to the ground
Slowly we're safe and sound

It's so simple to be afraid
It's so simple when you know who you are
It's so simple to be afraid
It's so simple when you know who you are

I caught you lying to yourself
Now everything is speeding 'round and around
(Things I used to love)
Well I'm a fool to watch but never say
Are you bothered by the choice you made?

When we fall to the ground
Slowly we're safe and sound

It's so simple to be afraid
It's so simple when you know who you are
It's so simple to be afraid
It's so simple when you know who you are

But maybe we were wrong.
When will you know
That you can feel belonged
I think you fell in deeper than you imagined

It's so simple to be afraid
(It's so simple)
It's so simple when you know who you are

It's so simple to be afraid
(It's so simple)
It's so simple when you know who you are