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Two days ago, I rearraged the number keys on a lab computer at my school so that they read 0-9, instead of 1-9 and then 0. For the past two days the IT guy has been mystified as to why no one has been able to login on that computer. He was even more mystified when I could login perfecly. He still hasn't figured it out. I think I win. MLIA.
Today, my sister called me in the middle of class because she said she had something important to tell me. Luckily, my teacher was out making copies, so I told her to be quick. She had wanted to make sure I was aware that my birthday was also Bubble-Wrap Appreciation Day. I'm glad my sister knows what's important. MLIA
Last night the batteries in my electric toothbrush died. It took me at least a minute to remember I could still use it to brush my teeth. MLIA
Today, I went to the doctor to get a flu shot. The little kid who went before me got a Winnie the Pooh sticker when they left, so I asked the receptionist for one. When she asked me how old I was, I said, "You're going to put an age limit on happiness?" MLIA.
Today, I took the 'What's your nerd name' on facebook and got the result of Eugene. Sadly, my name is Eugene. MLIA
Today, I cut my finger on a band-aid box. The irony hurt more than the cut. MLIA.
Today, in cross country practice our coach made us do drills. One of them involved laying on our backs and pretending to pedal bikes in the air. I was tired so I just kept my legs still in the air, and when my coach asked what I was doing I replied 'I'm biking down a hill'. MLIA
Today, I watched a freshman fall down the stairs, and then land with an air guitar and a knee slide, and walk away like nothing happened. That kid is going places. MLIA.
Today a guy in my history class said he couldn't take the test because he was suffering from sexual exhaustion. Without looking up from her desk, the teacher said, "That's ok, just use the other hand." MLIA
Today, my friend and I were playing with an application on his iphone, which is similar to a magic 8 ball. He asked it several questions and kept getting similar lame responses, such as "outlook isn't good," "not in a million years," "ask again later," etc. He got frustrated, and exclaimed, "Oh yea! Well I bet you don't have a girlfriend, do you Mr. 8 Ball!" It responded with, "Ask your mom." It could not have been a more perfect response. MLIA.
Today, 25 minutes into our English class, a boy suddenly popped out of a cabinet in the back of the room and exclaimed with evident surprise and dismay, "This isn't Narnia!" New best friend? I think so. MLIA
Today, after a long and grueling physics assignment, my professor suddenly addressed the class and said, "Remember, physics is like sex. It's useful, but that's not why we do it." Within five minutes the whole class changed our facebook status to quote him. MLIA
Today, while helping my new Brazilian boyfriend with his English on msn, I decided to draw a picture of him being eaten by a big purple dinosaur. It took me a good 10 minutes to draw and he was getting increasingly frustrated that I wasn't replying. After I had sent it he didn't reply back for a while, so I assumed he was angry with me. Little did I know, he was drawing an intensely detailed picture of me getting eaten Pac Man. Keeper. MLIA.
Today, I was with my boyfriend and called him gay. He responded "Obviously not". I then jokely told him that I was a guy with breast implants. His response, "Why didn't you get bigger ones then?" Touche'. MLIA
Today, a man called me by accident. When I told him he had the wrong number he replied "No, you just have the wrong phone." Touché, phone man. MLIA.
Today, my mom got a call from my little brothers elementary school. His kindergarten teacher went around the circle and asked him what they wanted to be when they grew up. He answered "Happy." The teacher then responded "No...you don't understand the question." My litle brother fired back with "Well, you don't understand life." I now have no doubt we are related. MLIAToday, as I was driving home I noticed a street called Drury Lane. I plan on going back tomorrow and finding the muffin man. MLIA
Today I was thirsty, so I walked to the fridge to get a glass of cold water. When I pulled the pitcher out, I realized it was empty. Angry, I said, "Who the hell puts the empty pitcher back in the fridge?". Then I realized I live alone. MLIA
Today, I was walking home from school with a guy I kind of like. I eyed a really crunchy looking leaf a few feet in front of us. He was just about to jump on it, when he saw my disappointed face, then said 'Ladies first' and let me step on it. I wish there were more gentlemen like this. MLIA
Yesterday, a water pipe up the road from my house broke. Since we had no water in the house my parents dien't make me go to school, because I couldn't shower. Today I was in the hall and my friend yelled "where were you?!?!?!" and I yelled back, "my water broke!" I have never gotten so many priceless stares. MLIA.
Today, my some of my friends and I were listening to "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3. I pointed out that if I were Helen Keller, I would be kind of offended by it. My friend pointed out that if I were Helen Keller, I wouldn't be able to hear it. MLIA.
Today I was playing catchphrase with my family. The word was workout, I said "When you do this you get hot, sweaty, and tired" Without hesitation my 10 year old brother replied "a date!" I don't know what kind of dates he goes on, but my mom has now decided to arrange his marrige, just to be safe. MLIA
Today while on the bus to school I grew bored and began to sing under my breath 'snape snape, severus snape' It scared me half to death when a young woman sitting behind me whispered a squeaky 'dumbledore!' in my ear. I have a new friend. MLIA.
Today, I was listening to my mom and my little brother's conversation. My mom asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and he replies, "I wanna be a fish!" and she says, "But then I can't visit you!" Without missing a beat he says "I know". That made me love my brother just a bit more. MLIA