feeling very alone

so it seems like lately i haven't been able to avoid the fact that i've been single for so long & have been feeling so lonely. i cannot stand it. the last guy i was with treated me like i was actually important (unlike my ex before him). like i ment something to him. ge didn't ignore me all the time, & that's all i need - a little love & attention. is it too much to ask for? someone real that can care about me and pay a little bit of attention to me. apparently it is. while all the fake ass whores get the sweet guys that they walk all over, the truely loving girls who deserve a good relationship rarely get it. goes to show how fair the world is these days. whatever i guess. not like there's anything i can do about it. it just saddens me to know that i am alone and that no one cares for me. :[ when is someone real going to show up? how long am i going to have to wait? this sucks. i think i'm going to go listen to some love songs and have a good cry. hopefully that'll help me a bit.

music junkie

beau & i 3/02/07

justin & i 3/02/07

cove & i 3/02/07

chris & i 3/02/07

good morning. so it's 6:26 am and i have come to the conclusion that once school starts, i'm totally fucked. my sleeping scheduel is, go to bed at 5 or 6 am and wake up at 3 pm! i feel like such a bum hahaha. but it's not my fault i'm a night person. but i'll have to get my sleeping patterns in better shape in the month of august for school.

ok enought about that. so i'm laying in bed on the laptop listening to national product and it reminded me how happy i got tonight! (trust me, NP is part of it) so what happened was, me being the music junkie i am i was looking around on band's myspaces and happened to stop by NP's. so i'm scrolling down and i happen to find out that not only are they going on tour with the yummy guys from the band 1997 but they'll be at my second favorite venue! my day was complete when i saw that. then tonight i get an alert telling me one of the blogs i subcribed to on myspace had posted a new blog and it so happened to be saosin <333.

ok before i continue let me give you a little background info about saosin & i. about 2 years ago a friend of mine introduced me to this band called saosin. i checked them out. liked their sound. bought their cd. and loved it. but that was about it, i didn't really look after trying to see them live or anything. well i went to TOC 07 so i could finally see them live, little did i know i would fall in love that night. (oh fyi: i had a broken toe, was on a foot brace, and pain killers at the time) so alley & i are inside watching senses fail while her ex stepmom was in line waiting for us until it got short & we could meet saosin. well in the middle of the set i get a text saying "it's almost your turn". omg i freaked! i start getting out of my seat, stepping on people's cups, running out of the main room, into the lobby, up 2 flight of stairs, down a long hallway, and finaly to the line (i was ready to cry from pain. pain that i only felt hours later). oh did i mention i ran faster than my friend who wasn't injured? hahaha so we get there & the thing is i was in love with the music but i had never actually seen the memebers of saosin. and the first person i happen to meet is mr.beau burchell. it was seriously love at first sight. but all the guys are super sweet. now i was in love with their music and them. well about a month later i saw them again (first time in march, second in april). then i again in august, october, & finally january 08. yes i was a full blown fanatic. and i haven't seen them since because they went to write a new album.

bringing me back to the point. in the blog chris wrote tonight is said that they already had a lot of songs done and that they were already in pre production! not only that but that in the fall we can expect the album to come out and a come back tour!!! i wanted to cry! hahaha i was just too excited.

then tonight i'm going to my friend's band EP release show. they're not signed and are there with a bunch of unknown bands. it's things like these that keep me breathing. i'm not even kidding. music pumps throw my veins, and i'd hate it if anything else pumped instead. :]

i think it's so funny that my mother has said that there was "too much music in my life"...BS! that's humanly impossible! i'd love to be able to tour one day. but i know my voice isn't bad but i'm not confudent enough to sing alone. so maybe i'll be a tour manager or merch girl hahaha nah i'd feel shitty if i was. watching my friends do what i want while i'm stuck at a table selling their shit. no thanks, not my scene.

well it's 7 am, my parents wake up in 30 mins, i need to fake sleep, wait for them to leave, have breakfast, put away my laundry, nap for a few hours, straighten my hair, and wait for m best friend to come pick me up so we can go do what we do best - support local bands. :D

- Isabela

first timer

hello everyone. ok i'll be the first to admit that i'm not really a blogger or that into blogging, but lately i've found myself wanting to share what's been going on (which has been quite a bit).

so i had a lot planned for this summer. going to the pool, being with friends, concerts, sleepovers, parties, & fun. but i have failed to acomplish such things. sure i've gone to the pool. of course i went to a few shows. and yeah i hang out with alley on a daily basis. but i don't see any of my other friends. & i've only gone to like 4 shows. this totally sucks! i always have these great plans for my summer but because of my parents, i can never get to them. i know that they have to work and all but you can't just stick me at home all day doing nothing but cleaning the stupid house. it's completely unfair because i work so damn hard all year at school and this is my time to relax. they don't get that & it really bums me out. =/

but on the positive side...i had so fun at the concerts i have attended so far & the time i've spent with alley. i was backstage at warped tour, i finally met craig owens at the plano summerfest, & time spent with alley is always great! i want more fun things like that. i want more super local shows with bands i don't even know but will soon love. on friday i'm going to one to support my friend's band & their EP release at a small venue with underground bands. then on the 25th while mains ass stream bands like metro station, boys like girls, the maine, & good charlotte (i've seen all of them live before) are preforming in big venues here i'm going to see another local show. it's things like these that make me happy. i mean truely happy. new bands with my best friend, does it get any better? i think not.

well for a first timer i've talked way too much. so good night & sweet dreams.