february recap

so here's all the craziness that has gone down this month:

• on the 4th i messaged an estranged friend because i missed. we then proceeded to make up and become friends again.
• on the 11th me, said friend (michelle) & my my dear matt all got to hang out together for the first time since we ended the 6th grade! isn't that crazy?! it'd been like 7 years since the 3 of us had all been in the same room at once. it was really fun! we had a great time at michelle's birthday
• on the 25th i turned 19! this birthday was a little different for me. it's hard to explain why...i was just really emotional. 19 isn't a big milestone, it's just 19. maybe it's the fact that this is my last year as an actual teen. i'm not sure but i had fun with my old & new friends (: i also received by far the sweetest letter (instead of a card) from Carrie with my cook book. she's not exactly one to show a lot of emotions but it was so heartfelt and sweet. brought tears to my eyes and made me feel loved.
• no exact date, but i made 3 new good friends in my culinary class! these girls are wonderful and very dear to me already.
  
• and lastly my old soul kicked in and i caught full blown baby fever! it's so crazy!! i'm 19 and have been ready to have a baby for almost a year now lol

valentine's day

i normally don't care about it,

whether i have a boyfriend or not.

but today kinda sucked.

lately i've just been craving love.

i want to be loved

and be in love.

and i'm not.

):

i just want my house back

we now have 3 people living with us...

every bedroom in the house is taken

along with bathrooms.

the first 3 weeks were fun,

now i need my space again.

someone give me my house back?

):

bookworm

did you know i have a book obsession?

cause i do.

i recently have read 2 books in 3 days...i'm that crazy lol

this past summer my godmom gave me a kindle for graduation, and boy have i put it to good use!

much like music, there's a ton of free books you can download online, and you bet i have.

well i'm now on a misson to get my kindle sold so i can buy the new one

isn't it pretty??

it's very much like an iPad, but it's main function is reading.

it has all the apps that i have on my iPhone available,

has internet (wifi & 3G)

you can add music

photos

netflix

oh and did i mention it's only $200?

mine is still new, i even have the receipt still

so hopefully i can get at least $90 from it and just pay the difference

i'm all excited for it cause i've had the chance to play on one since a friend of mine has it

:D

constant state of exhaustion

school is wearing me out!

i come home every day ready to pass out.

and on top of everything i don't get much alone time anymore

and to make it better gabriel's mom is moving back to the US so she's also moving in with us

the house is too full

i can't take it

i'm exhausted enough as it is

last thing i need is to be around people the whole time

i need my alone time

i kinda just wanna stay in my room crying for a few days

my parents need to start thinking how all of this effects me

not to mention that i have to clean up after all these people (and they do take advantage of that)

things need to get better

things with my parents are only getting worse with each day.

if they don't realize how they treat me soon, i'm going to explode.

i can sit here and honestly say that i love them ONLY because they are my parents and gave me life.

but as humans, i hate them with every ounce of my body.

i keep saying if things keep this way, once i move out i'm never coming back.

they don't ever let me be happy.

if they see i'm happy or proud of myself they find something to put me down.

i honestly hate my home life.

growing family

nope no one is pregnant

but my "brother" and his wife have moved in with us

there is a woman named Linda, and she was one of the first people my family met when we moved to the US. shortly after we met her, not only did she become an instant family friend but her sons were making their way to the US too. her youngest, Gabriel, was 13 and her oldest, Flavio, was maybe 18 (i don't really remember). for whatever reason gabriel really clicked with my family. during school vacations he'd stay at my house and stay over every weekend. we acted like siblings.

well him and his wife have to go spend a few months in brazil, so until then they have moved in with us to try and save money.

at first i thought it was gonna be a bad idea, but it's turning out really cool!

i'm getting to be close with him again, and also developing a really good friendship with Vanessa (his wife)

it's pretty darn fun!

me & gabriel on new years eve

me & vanessa 2 summers ago