not good enough

i'm not a good enought student.
i'm not a good enough daughter.
i'm not a good enough friend.
i'm not a good enough christian.
i'm not a good enough helper.
i'm not a good enough listener.
i'm not a good enough person.

i'm tired of not being good enough. if i'm such a waste of human space, why did god put me on this earth? i really want to leave. give my parents a chance to have another child...one that can make them proud. because they've made it very clear that i'll never be able to do that. i just really wish i didn't have to be alive...

Danny's Daily Mugshot

Daily Mugshot

Sad Excuse

so i'm in my prep for parenting class finishing up a parenting project while listening to my other love, National Product <3 ok so let me explain how i came to be a NP fan. i love the band lovehatehero & always go see them when they're in town. they were having a show that only had like 20 people there, at the most. they were touring with a bunch of bands i had never heard of before in my life but i'm always open to new music, that is how i discover most of the bands i like. one of the bands that really caught my attention was the band that played right before LHH, National Product. they were really good, goofy, & their singer just so happen to very cute! hahaha after that show i looked them up, downloaded their album, & there it started. it was a while before i was able to see them again, but when i did it was worth the wait. although Danny (singer) was very sick, he still put on an amazing show. he's a very sweet person who loves hugs & kisses (i'll come add pictures of me with him when i get home)! so at that show he gave me his number for us to keep in contact. now we're good buddies & we wear matching bracelets (mine says Danny, his says Isabela). so here's the song that he tipically makes it seems like he's singing just for me (don't ask how that works, you have to be there to see it)

Sad Excuse

National Product

Let's get it right, before the hand hits 12 tonight

Cause I can see in your eyes, you trip on every word, it's a lie, it's a lie

And tonight, while there's still time left, and you said everything you wanted to

There’s one thing you haven't heard, its my lie, its my lie

Lay on your back and raise your right hand

This could be the last chance that you get to

Swear on this knife that you, never loved me, never, never loved me

Because if that’s the truth, push it through me, push it, push it through me

But you don't, and you won't, cause you're a sad excuse, yeah you're a sad excuse

You search directories and somehow you've found out

Who's sleeping next to me, in my bed, in my bed

So tonight, while there's still time left and you did everything you wanted to

There's one thing you haven't heard, it's my lie, it's my lie

Lay on your back and raise your right hand

The hardest part is knowing, you didn't have the tact to sit back and react to the truth

The hardest part is knowing, you didn't have the tact to sit back and

Swear on this knife that you never loved me, never, never loved me

Because if that's the truth, push it through me, push it, push it through me

Swear on this knife that you...

Lay on your back and raise your right hand

Swear on this knife that you...

PENGUIN ATTACK!

i love penguins, i'm obsessed. end of story.

<333

M.A.P. testing...ew!

omg i hate these stupid map tests. we have to take 6 of them every year. why did we start doing them all of a sudden. i thought i'd be doen with them once i left plano, guess not. pooooooooop. i just finished my math one, yuck. then i have to go to spanish & practice waltzing witha fucking freshman! god help me. i swear i'm so not going to be here on the day of the imitation quince. i mean i know what they're all about, & i chose to skip my debutant (brasilian version of a quince). damn it. oh well. the bell is going to ring in 5 minutes so i have to get my stuff together. depending on what we do in music theory today, i might post a blog for Esther lol :]

<3

excuses, excuses

there is seriously nothing i hate more than people who have an excuse for EVERYTHING! omg it makes me want to scream! hahaha it's like just admit you've screwed up & get over it. not that hard, trust me. ughhhh it annoys the bageebers out of me! oh well, he's dumb anyways L]

p.s. my room smells very much like taco bell hahaha

not cool.

A_____ M______ T__.
(It's someone's full name)

it's not cool that you don't talk to me anymore.
it's not cool that it seems like we're not friends anymore.
it's not cool that you act as if our friendship is meaningless.
it's not cool that you traded me out.
it's not cool that you don't call anymore.
it's not cool that you don't reply to anything i send you.
it's not cool that you don't text me goodnight anymore.
it's not cool that i'm losing you.
it's not cool that i haven't seen you since june.
it's not cool that you got my hopes but never showed.
it's not cool that you don't miss me.
it's not cool that you make me feel this way.
it's not cool that you're not cool.