poop

i know i said i'd update you tonight, but there is no way in hell i am. i'm too sick to sit here & type a bunch of stuff up. oh & i know i still haven't posted the blog about halloween up. i promise i'll try to do it this weekend. good night & pray that i get better because i'm pretty dran sick :[

"we'll seel it with a kiss on the lips as we say 'i do' in a church of sin"

i use way too may parts of songs as my titles haha. but i love A Kidnap In Color! <3 well this was just for randomness & fun. i'll update you tonight.

failure

never in my life have i failed any class, well not until this year.

so texas is very stupid & requires you to have a fine arts credit before you graduate high school. well the fact that i did choir for 7 freaking years before i started freshman year obviously doesn't count here! so now that i'm a sophomore i decided to take music theory because i didn't want to go back to choir (even though i love to sing more than anything in my life).

god, if i had known what i'd be getting myself into i would've never signed up for this class! i'm in it right now & just took a test that i know i failed. it sucks so bad because i've never been so clueless in any class. on our first report card it was the first time in my almost 16 years of life that i had a C on it! i almost cried.

but what bothers me the most is that normal art class counts as fine arts credit, yet photojournalism doesn't count as fine arts or technology (i need that credit too). what the heck?! photography is an art & we're working with computers and digital cameras, how is that not fine arts or technology??? ugh!

well lucky for me, i talked to my counselor & she said at the end of this semester i can drop out of music theory & join photoj II!!! i'll just take like art or something next year.

well class ends in 9 minutes so i'm off, have a wonderful day :]

overrated

ugh! it makes me so mad how overrated the twilight saga is! like i bought twilight when it FIRST came out & now it's all girls talk about. some even get so ridiculous to think that "vampires" are real & hat one day they'll find an eduward. like are you kidding me? it's called a fiction book for a reason, dears. it's all imagination gone right to make money, period. now i give stephenie total props for writing such interesting & successful books but it's gotten way out of control. oh well, i still enjoy the story & always will. i'm not about to let dumb little girls ruin something i like :]

pictures say a thousand words

he's now mr.president & i knew he'd win.

sickness

what is it abou the fall & winter that makes me be constanly ill? jeez! it's so annoying. oh & sunday i had some evil jerky that made really sick. i couldn't hold anything down for longer than 20 minutes. my sunday night & most of monday was nto very pleasent. poopie. oh well, i'm better now. well, if you don't count the fact that i have a cold coming on. time to start bundleling up & keeping warm! :]

anger

i just realized how much anger i hold in me. it's pretty ridiculous actually. i started thinking about how easily i'm angered & how destructive i get, and i'm thinking i might be bipolar. my mood swings happen instantly & are drastic. it's really crazy. the smallest of things trigger it and make me furious!

a perfect example was today. so i'm out of church all happy that i got to see raygan after like 2 months & still very happy from friday. so i'm at costco with my mom & we pass by the area that they had the rockband 2 set up. and because this year i don't really want anything for christmas & i don't normally play video games i asked my mom to buy me that because it's the only time i'd ever use the wii or ps3. well she tells me that my dad & her are never going to buy me it because they think i don't truely want it, that i'm only asking it because my best friend wants it. like what the hell man?

it's always this way. whenever i want to do something that isn't normally me, they always go and say i only want it because some friend of mine does or have it. like am i not allowed to have a mind of my own & want certain things? who gives a shit if a friend of mine does or have something very similar? maybe i actually liked it & want to try.

god, and if that wasn't bad enough she starts telling me that i need to stop arguing when they're telling me something that i know is wrong on their part. she directly told me that no matter what i'm never going to win the arguement & that it's only going to stress everyone out. well i told her that either way I'M going to be stressed. can you guess what she said to me? she said "well keep it to yourself then because we don't want nor need to hear it." WHAT THE FUCK?! is my life getting so ridiculous that i have to just put up with their bullshit? i don't think so. it's not my nature to just sit there and take things. i will continue to argue & they can suck it. i'm counting the days until i leave my house.

& ok i'm really messed up in the head. like i have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Depression, & now i think Bipolar Disorder (which are all mental disorders that can be fixed) but like i can't tell my parents this. they're so closed minded that they don't even want to try to understnad what they are or take me to a doctor. my mother simply tells me that i'm going crazy & need to go to a mental hospital. thanks mom.

i'm sick of my house, at this point i want to move back to brazil & live with my godmother.

i wasn't even going to post this, i have a blog i started last night telling veryone how amazing friday was but i fell asleep last night & didn't get to finish it. but i had to get this off my chest or i was going to really go crazy.